A Beautiful Mess
by magnetosdaughter
Summary: James Barnes and Jessica Jones dance around having a relationship despite both being in one already. James/Jessica, James/Natasha, Luke/Jessica, Carol/Peter. Chapter 6 up: it's 11/11/11 and lines are waiting to be crossed.
1. 11:11

**Title: **11:11

**Fandom: **Avengers

**Pairing:** James Barnes/Jessica Jones

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters.

**Author's Notes: **This pairing haphazardly occurred to me, I fleshed it out in my head and now it is my new favourite thing. James is with Natasha and Jess is married to Luke - and James and Jess have become friendly.

_I still wish on the evening star_

_And I s'pose I always will_

_Every child loses something_

_A whole life can't fulfill_

Jess glanced at her phone as they exited the theater. "11:11, make a wish."

James looked over. "What?"

"11:11," Jess repeated. He shook his head, slightly. "The _time_. One - one - one - one. Make a wish!"

Her smile was infectious. "What kind of wish?"

"The kind you can think of in sixty seconds."

"That's..."

Jess laughed. "Really hard, I know."

He nodded. "Unless you already have a wish in mind."

"I don't know if that would count."

"Why not?"

"Wishes are fleeting." He sent her another questioning glance. "Think about it. We make wishes on shooting stars and birthday candles and minutes. If you have enough time to plan the wish it's not a wish anymore. It's something else."

"What is it?"

She cocked her head to consider. "A desire."

He watched the wind blow her hair across her eyes, her lips, and forced his mind not to think any of the thoughts - wishes - desires - that could be thought. Finally she turned into the wind and it blew her hair off her face; she smiled and he relaxed.

"But this year is special." He waited. "November 11, 2011. At 11:11 it will be one-one-one-one, one-one-one..." She scrunched her nose. "Wait." He smiled as she started over, counting on her fingers. "One-one-one-one." She'd raised the index and middle fingers on each hand. "One-one. One-one." Ring-ring-pinkie-pinkie.

"One-one," he finished, raising both index fingers.

"Right." She grinned at their fingers, they were not unlike birthday candles. "So there, we have months to come up with the perfect wish."

"But then it won't count," he reminded her.

"It counts if there are-" More counting. "-five elevens involved. Powerful magic. Grants desires."

James lowered his hands. "I'll keep that in mind." He turned to call a taxi and locked away any fleeting wishes. It wasn't 11:11 anymore.

Another day.


	2. Dance As If No One Is Watching

**Title: **Dance As If No One Is Watching

**Fandom: **Avengers

**Pairing:** James Barnes/Jessica Jones, James Barnes/Natasha Romanova, Luke Cage/Jessica Jones, Peter Parker/Carol Danvers

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters.

_Dance as though no one is watching you. _

_Love as though you have never been hurt before. _

_Sing as though no one can hear you. _

_Live as though heaven is on earth._

"Is that it?" asked Peter.

"No this is Intermission."

"Oh. So. Snacks?"

Carol shot him a withering glance. Honestly, _she_ was the one three months pregnant. "We're getting dinner when it's over.

"When's that?" They turned to Jessica.

"I don't know. An hour. Hour and a half."

"So, snacks?" Carol and Jess rolled their eyes in unison but Luke stood.

"I'll go. I want to stretch my legs anyway."

Carol nudged Peter with an elbow. "I can go."

"I'm going." He started off.

"But -" Carol kicked Peter. "Okay, you go." He looked over at Miss Indecisive/Bullying, but she was smiling sweetly. He swallowed exasperation and kissed her cheek.

Jessica leaned over James to address Natasha. "So what do you think? Are they any good."

She blinked. "... Yes." It was hardly resounding and Jessica fidgeted.

"I mean I know it's not, I mean it's just, I ... you know what I mean."

"It's great, Jess," said Carol. Natasha nodded. Jess pulled back and met James' eyes. He nodded, too.

Jess frowned. "Are you okay?"

"Okay? Yes. Of course."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. Dani's great."

"I know Dani's great. What's wrong?"

A glance told James everyone was watching them but trying to look like they were not.

"Nothing is wrong," he repeated. "I'm ...it's not what I expected."

"What do you mean?" There was a slight edge to her voice.

James took a breath. "Aren't some of these costumes a bit ... inappropriate?

"What do you mean?" The edge was somewhat less slight now. And the rest had entirely given up pretending they weren't paying attention.

"They're so ... short."

Jessica was silent.

"Dancers wore as much when you were a kid, James," said Natasha, conversationally. "As little."

He glanced at her. "Yes, women, but not little girls."

"I think they're cute." Jessica's voice was flat now. James looked back at her.

"I shouldn't have said anything."

"No, I agree with you," said Peter. "No daughter of mine will be prancing on stage like that. "

Jessica, Carol, and James stared at him. Natasha hid a laugh.

"What?"

"I think it's you," answered Carol.

"You who?"

"You you. You have rules about what women should wear to be sexy or not sexy so you are sexualizing what these girls are wearing."

"I don't have rules about ... what?"

"It's probably subconscious," she said generously.

"I just meant I can see where James is coming from."

"Because you have rules."

"I do not!"

"You said you wouldn't allow your daughter to dance like that."

"Actually he said prance," said Natasha, still looking amused.

Jessica stood suddenly and started to push her way past them.

"Jess..." She sped up and nearly collided with Luke.

"Hey, no need to rush, I'm back."

"Snacks?" asked Peter, attempting to reign in the threatening drama.

"Snacks." He threw a bag at Peter and took his seat, Jessica following quietly behind.

"You're my hero, Luke Cage."

Luke nudged his brooding wife. "Something up?"

"You see Dani?"

He nodded. "Has her tap shoes on, cute little sailor dress, ready to be Shirley Temple." He was near bursting with pride; Jessica beamed.

Luke was better with other parents (other people) than Jessica, so he was collecting Dani and her things and saying their goodbyes backstage while the others waited. Carol was overheated and headed outside with Peter to bicker over where to go for dinner. Natasha went looking for a ladies room, leaving James and Jessica in the emptying lobby.

"It was a great show. Dani's a star."

Her smile was tired but true. "Yeah, she's - I'm really proud of her."

"You should be."

"I am!" She snapped. And looked away.

"...Jess. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize for your opinion." She was too tired to keep the anger from her tone. Too - something.

"I'm sorry I upset you."

Jessica shook her head. "I just want her to feel normal. I thought this place was just really normal."

"I'm sure it is."

She raised her eyes to meet his. Okay. "I'm more mad at Peter than you." James at least had an excuse. There was no excuse for Peter!

"Peter's going to be a father in six months. He's just scared."

_Fine_! There's an excuse for Peter.

"He shouldn't take it out on me!" she snapped again. Her nerves were frayed.

"No, he shouldn't." And it didn't help that James was so calm. Or maybe it did; her shoulders relaxed.

"I shouldn't take it out on him. Or you."

He smiled. "It's okay."

It was enough to undo her. Tears sprung up and her slight body shook. "I - my whole life was a mess before Dani was born but it didn't matter because it was just me. I wasn't hurting anyone but myself." Peter or Carol would disagree and butt in to tell her so. James disagreed, but just listened. "It didn't matter. But now it feels like everything matters. And what if I'm still a mess? What if I'm doing everything wrong?" She sounded as desperate for approval as a child herself.

"I can't pretend to know what it is to be a mother. You're much braver than I am. Than any of us are."

"I don't feel very brave. I feel like an idiot."

James frowned. He wanted to brush her tears away and stop all her silly self torment but he didn't want to patronize her.

He locked eyes with her. "Does my opinion matter?"

She took a breath, calmed again. "Your opinion matters."

"You are a good mother and a good person. And a great friend. And a beautiful woman. I have the highest opinion of you."

A long silence passed between them. Jessica, who is a physical person, pulled him into a hug. James, who is not, was taken aback, but recovered and closed his arms around her. Natasha watched quietly from across the room, her return unnoticed. There was a shuffle behind her.

"Danielle." She walked three steps and kneeled to look the girl in eye. "Would you show me your stage?" Dani nodded, grinning, but didn't know where to go. She looked up at her father, also grinning.

"Follow me, ladies." Natasha took Dani's other hand and followed Luke back the way he came.

"I promise to wear something appropriately demure when we perform." Jessica pushed open the door to the auditorium.

James caught the door and held it for her to walk past. "...Oh, you were serious about that?"

"I was serious about dancing! I _am_ serious and I've found the perfect place. Drop in lessons and goes to competitions every 6 weeks, sometimes sooner."

He blinked. "Competition?"

Jessica simply laid a finger to her lips, silly since the show as over, but James didn't mind the non-answer. Her eyes were twinkling again. They walked down the aisle to the stage and joined Luke.

"Hey, babe, what's up?"

He nodded at Dani and Natasha going through steps center stage. "I don't see why we're paying these clowns if we have a ballet teacher down the hall."

Jess made a face. "I thought you liked the show."

"I _loved_ the show! I didn't love paying $18 a head to get in after I paid for costumes and tuition and shoes and whatever that is in her hair and-"

She put up her hands. "Okay, I get it! But you gotta ask her."

"Hey, I'm a charmer and she's clearly secretly a pussycat." He grinned at James. "Right, Buck?"

James didn't answer. He wouldn't have anyway, but he was watching.

"Tendu. Tendu. Tendu. First position."

There was no music. Their feet were bare. Natasha's steps were precise and Dani's were chaotic. But there was a glow about them that had nothing to do with the lighting of the stage.

It was beautiful.


	3. Through the Looking Glass

**Title: **Through the Looking Glass

**Fandom: **Avengers

**Pairing:** James Barnes/Jessica Jones, James Barnes/Natasha Romanova

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters.

_We spend our whole lives searching for _

_All the things we think we want _

_And never really knowing what we have_

"James?"

There was no answer to her knock or her call. Jess knocked again, a little harder. When she pulled back the door was slightly ajar.

"...James?" She pushed and the door fell completely open. Jess shrugged and walked in. "James," she said a third time, though she was pretty sure he'd have answered by now. "Nata...lia?" She would have answered, too, right? If she were here?

No one was here.

Jess moved all the way into the suite and nudged the door closed behind her with her foot.

All the time they'd lived in his apartment in Brooklyn and all the time they'd shared Avengers Mansion, Jess had never been inside James' (and Natasha's) room. It wasn't that she, particularly, wasn't welcome, no one went in their space. Everyone _tried_ to carve out a private space, but these two were the most successful. Jess felt a little like she was Goldilocks, sneaking in with a flimsy excuse. The idea made her giggle but it sounded nervous to her ears. She stopped and frowned, looking for a closet. But this first room was sparse, just a few chairs and shelves of books and knick knacks. If it was set up like her own - and it should be - the inner room, the bed room, would have a closet. She walked with purpose through the archway.

This room looked more lived in. Bed, tables, two dressers and a long mirror. Window with an air conditioner and a love seat nearby. And the wall opposite opened into a long closet. "Aha," Jess said and slid the door open. The closet was as neat as the rest of the room and as shared. Jess hunted for a free hanger on the 'James' side of the closet and when procured, hung up the jacket. She drew a hand down the sleeve, smoothing it. She should go, but something hung in the air. It was so quiet.

Absently she moved from sleeve to sleeve. Uniform and other uniform and suit jacket and button down and of course James is the type to hang up jeans. She didn't stop when the clothes switched from Men's to Women's. If anything she found Natasha' clothes _more_ interesting. She's a woman, after all, but most of her wardrobe would look out of place in this closet, at least this side of it. There was a predominance of black, then red, which is to be expected Jess supposed, but it wasn't the color so much as the cut. To be fair, Jessica's superheroing get up was what she wore when she was sixteen. Which is exactly why she was looking for an update. Though probably not why she was looking in Natasha's closet. Good excuse, though…

She pulled out a jumpsuit, walked over to the mirror, and held it up to her chin. Hm. They were kind of opposites, weren't they? In terms of image. Dark versus light. Slinky versus …cute? How about tough. She's tough, right? Jess made a tough face. Well. She's still tough, so there. Just because Black Widows are dangerous and deadly…nothing is tougher than a diamond. Which is a Jewel, get it?

Look, it's better than a Marvel. That's just dumb.

She replaced the catsuit in the closet and pulled out a dress. Still black, still slinky. Dangerous. Not even thinking about it she pulled it over her head and returned to the mirror.

Wow. She looked hot. Maybe there was something to that 'sexy is empowering' thing. If only Carol could see her. Carol would appreciate it. Peter would probably laugh, make some joke about being dressed in someone else's clothes … you know if she wasn't _actually_ … Never mind.

Luke would love it. And so would James. Right? Aside from the creepy factor, which has already been established as absent from this hypothetical discussion. If she were wearing a dress that was LIKE Natasha's and not ACTUALLY Natasha's Carol would appreciate it, Peter would make fun, Luke would be all over it, and James should like it. That would only make sense.

She wondered, briefly, what Natasha would think. But she decided pretty quickly she didn't want to know or even dwell on it. And she should take this dress off immediately.

But she didn't. She stood with Natasha's slinky sexy black lace dress over her own skinny jeans and tank top and bare feet and wondered what James would _really_ think. Because what other reason would she have for wearing it? Maybe it's not something she should ask but come on! She's somewhere she probably shouldn't be - doing something she definitely shouldn't be doing - so where's the harm asking something she shouldn't be asking and, frankly, hoping the answer is he doesn't like it all because it's not you.

And he likes you.

Jess pulled her hair off her back with one hand and made her best_ come hither_ expression into the mirror. And started laughing. Aloud. It sounded very loud in the silent room and she slapped her hands over her mouth, caught her breath, swallowed the rest of her giggles, pulled the dress off, threw it in the closet - and doubled over to laugh some more. She sat, shaking with silent laughter.

When she'd finally calmed down she returned to the closet, picked up the dress and hung it back up properly. She closed the closet once and for all, and walked with purpose, if not quite head held high, out of the rooms.


	4. The Dancing Never Lies

**Title: **The Dance Never Lies

**Fandom: **Avengers

**Pairing:** James Barnes/Jessica Jones

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters.

_My mind forgets to remind me_

_You're a bad idea_

_You touch me once and it's really something,_

_You find I'm even better than you imagined I would be._

_We're not doing anything wrong._ It was Jessica's mantra. A small nagging voice opined that if that was true she wouldn't need the mantra. But Jessica ignored it. She invited Peter to accompany James and herself to their Tuesday night dance class. Because it wasn't weird. At all. She'd prove it.

The first hour was devoted to working on technique. Learning and then tightening the steps. As Peter watched Jessica and James amidst the other couples his anxiety started to lessen. There wasn't anything inappropriate about it. Nothing even particularly notable. They seemed focused on what they were doing. And Jess was right, it looked fun. Maybe she was right about it not being weird, too. Maybe they were just friends dancing.

The music stopped and the couples started to disperse to the sides of the room. As their dancing paused, Jess' hand ended on James' chest. They shared a laugh before he took the hand in his and pulled her over to the wall.

Maybe.

In the second hour the dancers worked on their own routines. Three at at time, the couples step and spin across the floor, the instructor giving suggestions in between rotations. Peter continued to watch his friends as they wait their turn. Jess chattered and James listened and again Peter thought perhaps he's off base in his concern. If he wasn't worried to begin with there was nothing at all worrying about the sight. Jess caught his gaze and waved and James looked over almost as if he'd forgotten Peter was there. Which was even more heartening since it meant they weren't acting for his behalf. Peter waved back.

The dance ended, the crowd clapped, and Jessica and James took their place on the floor with two other couples. As the music started something shifted, so quickly Peter wasn't sure what had happened or what he was now seeing. He just knew it was there.

"They make a great couple, right?"

Peter started at the voice; the dance instructor had appeared beside him. "Uh. What?"

"Your friends?" He nodded confirmation. "When they started, I thought it was hopeless. He was stiff, she was so easily distracted and frustrated." She paused, seeming to expect some kind of response. Peter nodded again. It sounded right. "They _look_ good together - fit together, you know?" Peter swallowed. "But they were awkward. Tripping over each other. The steps never come out right when that's going on. I see it all the time."

Another pause. Peter didn't want to respond. He wanted her to go away. "But now they're good?" he squeaked out, hoping she would choose not to explain what she saw all the time.

"Oh, yes. Look at them. Still rough around the edges but that just needs refinement. They're not holding back. Key to a good partnership in dance or life. That's how I know." She smiled at Peter, waiting for him to ask. He neither asked nor smiled back. "People who come here to learn a dance for their wedding," she explained despite his silent protest. She pointed to James and Jessica, moving into their big finish. "If they can't do that? Don't get married."

The music ended. James and Jessica held their pose a moment longer, then broke away, smiling. The instructor tapped Peter's arm once and moved off to talk to her students. Peter stood very still, every sense tingling.

"Were we good?" Jess asked with an eager smile, seemingly oblivious to Peter's mood. Peter mustered a nod. "We're going to get coffee." It was the routine. "You coming?"

Peter took a breath. "No. I... I should get back to Carol." Jess understood this, and suspected nothing. It was clear she thought she'd won. He couldn't meet her eyes. Dammit he _hated _being the only one to know something. "I'll see you later." He made a hasty retreat.


	5. Unintended and Unacknowledged

**Title: **Unintended and Unacknowledged

**Fandom: **Avengers

**Pairing:** James Barnes/Jessica Jones

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters.

**Author's Notes: **In between the last chapter and this, Peter mentioned something to Jess about inappropriate dancing.

_You might as well forget it,_

_Still I'm convinced,_

_Wondering what if is the worst thing there is_

Two weeks ago Peter had suggested Jess put some space between herself and James. His words of concern had had the opposite effect desired. Jessica and James were, if anything, spending more time together, and refusing to acknowledge that there was anything to be concerned about. They'd gotten very good at it.

Superheroes don't have regular work hours or days off. Anything approaching a life outside the job had to be lived in between the jobs. It was a hot August day in the city and the mansion was mostly empty. Luke was working with the Thunderbolts. Natasha was wherever Natasha goes (it's always classified). Bobbi was "busy" which meant either "also classified" or "with Clint". Or if gossip is to be believed possibly "trailing Clint and Jess Drew". Not that she would do such a thing (probably). Carol was approaching her third trimester and most likely arguing with Steve about active duty. Again. Peter was most likely with her and not trailing James and Jess Jones. Not that he would do such a thing (probably). Logan and Ben were with their other teams. And Doreen was out because nannies _do_ have days off. Jessica and James, therefore, had no reason not to spend the afternoon alone together. No reason not to take Dani to the dancing fountain that doubled as a public sprinkler on these hot August days, pack a picnic, and otherwise live out a Norman Rockwell painting.

In keeping with the unacknowledged, and probably unintended, which by the by nicely sums up their relationship in its entirety, nod to Mr. Rockwell, Jessica wore a sundress. It was the kind of thing she only wore when it was too damn hot to wear jeans, or for that matter, a bra. She looked young and feminine, especially with her daughter in hand. She resembled the girls James remembered in snatches from his youth, before the war, before everything became so complicated.

Finding a spot for their blanket that was far enough from the water they wouldn't get sprayed, but close enough they'd be comfortable letting Dani run on her own was a task in itself. Dani just wanted to rush to the water which kept her mother occupied wrangling her and unable to help James pick a spot. And her dress strap kept slipping down her shoulder. And it was getting hot enough she was about ready to rush the water herself.

"Mama!"

"Wait." Jess yanked her daughter back with one hand and tugged her strap up with the other. James pointed to a space opening up but as they started toward it another family moved in. This sequence repeated twice more.

"Aaargh," said Jessica.

"Ow," said Dani.

"Here," said James and he picked Dani up onto his shoulders. Jess sighed thanks, pulled her strap up _again_ and ran at the newest open space. If someone else had wanted it, they changed their mind at the sight of Jess storming over (but at least remembering not to fly, or, you know, punch her way through). James followed at a more careful pace and handed over the blanket before letting Dani down.

"_Now_, Mama."

"Aren't you hungry?"

"No!"

"All right." Jess waved her off. "Stay where we can see you!" She thought she heard Dani answer but not with anything resembling words. The girl ran full throttle into the circle of water being shot out of the sidewalk at seemingly random interludes. She was drenched head to toe, and giggling, within a minute. Jess snapped a few quick pictures with her phone before taking a seat beside James.

"This is wonderful."

"Good."

"I'm serious, it's perfect."

"Good."

"Perfect."

"...Great?"

She turned to swat his arm. "You." His eyes twinkled and she returned to watching Dani.

"Well, it's not a pool."

"It's better than a pool. She can't swim that well."

"Oh."

"_I _can't swim that well."

He passed her a soda. "Really?"

"This is where I remind you I've barely ever left this city."

"You can swim in New York."

She glanced over another quick moment. "But you don't have to. Don't have to swim, don't have to drive..."

"You can't drive?" He was honestly incredulous at that. He'd learned when he was 12.

"I can drive!"

"Okay!" He laughed and she swatted again. "I can teach you to swim."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." The strap had slipped down her shoulder again. He gently pulled it back up, his fingers lingered just long enough to cause a blush and he fell back quickly. "And Dani."

Jessica whipped her head around at the name, but Dani was fine, running in and out of the spray with a giant smile on her face. "Okay."

"Okay," he echoed because silence seemed inadvisable.

"Thanks."

He shook his head. "I owe you."

"You don't owe me anything."

"Sure I do. You've taught me all sorts of things and introduced me to more." He'd forced his voice to be light, and grateful, but still she turned back to look at him directly.

"No, no, I like doing those things," she said with all seriousness. "I like doing them with you. I like you."

He knew the smart or safe response would be to laugh, to diffuse the tension, and change the subject. The really smart or safe response would be to make a polite excuse and leave. He could offer to get ice cream...

The dumb and dangerous response would be to kiss her. This was unfortunately also the most desirable response. In the moment. But the longer he hesitated, the tighter her features became. He couldn't leave or laugh, she wouldn't understand.

"I like you, too."

She relaxed. He sighed.

"Jess... maybe..."

"I want more pictures." She stood and called to Dani. James watched. After a few minutes he took out his own phone to snap some of the two together.


	6. Five Elevens

**Title: **Five Elevens

**Fandom: **Avengers

**Pairing:** James Barnes/Jessica Jones

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters.

**Author's Notes: **The tone of this chapter is a bit different but we are finally moving forward. A note to Nrrrd-Grrrl-Meg and anyone else wondering about the lyrics/quotations for each chapter -

Ch1: Lose Your Way, Sophie B. Hawkins

Ch2: a quote by Souza

Ch3: The Night the Lights Went Out in New York City, the Ataris

Ch4: Sparks Fly, taylor Swift

Ch5: Mistakes We Knew We Were Making, Straylight Run

Ch6: a quote from The Romantics by Galt Niederhoffer

_ Technically, on the spectrum of very bad things, they did nothing truly wicked. _

_But of course, that spectrum has no measure for the greatest of all carnal sins, _

_the kind that occurs before skin touches skin, before wondering turns to yearning, _

_yearning to having, having to holding for dear life, when two people cling to each other _

_so desperately that even when they lie, inches apart, _

_neither is fully satisfied until the light between them turns to darkness. _

NOVEMBER 11, 2011

It had been months. Months of dancing, literally and figuratively. Dancing around each other. Dancing around their feelings. Dancing around hidden and not so hidden truths. And dancing around Peter, who saw it all and didn't know what to do, Natasha, who saw it all and kept it to herself, and Luke, who saw nothing.

Months of coffee dates, movie nights, playground visits, and talks that sometimes went on for hours. They lived in the pleasant fiction of innocence the great majority of the time. By some measures, it was true. If one or the other or both were less concerned with doing the right thing it may not have mattered what measure was used. In another life they were together, in this one, they danced.

11/11/11 was Veteran's Day. James flew to Washington DC in the early morning, with Steve and Sharon and Natasha, and they spent the day standing at attention, bowing their heads, and speaking in hushed tones about honor. Steve did most of the talking, James wasn't one for long speeches. In the evening there was a formal gathering but James was even less one for networking with politicians. When he wasn't bored, he was uncomfortable.

Jessica stayed in New York, with Carol and Peter. Luke was off with the Thunderbolts, who were in theory on call while the main teams were "representing their country". Jess could have gone with him, but Carol had begged her to stay and keep Tony from forcing her into the spotlight as the token military officer. Normally she'd be all over it but in her third trimester she just wanted to be left alone. Jess muttered something about poetic justice but acquiesced. She didn't really want to leave her kid to hang out with criminals anyway.

Jessica and James' love story, if you could call it that, started as a crime drama and morphed into a screwball comedy with a strange period drama slash science fiction element to it. Tonight it was most like a romantic dramedy. It was a holiday meaningful to our hero and a date special to our heroine. Conflict appeared in the form of physical separation. Here was James, looking at his watch, shuffling his feet, watching the crowd. There was Jessica, waving to Carol and Peter as they left for Boston, kissing Dani good night, fidgeting in the big empty house. Luke was gone on his mission. Natasha was leaving on hers. It would take 50 minutes to fly from DC to NYC. Would it be enough time? Should he try? Would he try? The music pauses to capture the decision.

None of this went through James' mind, or Jessica's. We are all characters in the movies of our lives but very few of us act that way. James was bored and uncomfortable and tired after a long day and left the party because he wanted to be home. Jessica was alone and jumpy and equally tired after an equally long day but stayed up because she couldn't turn her mind off.

He stepped off the plane and she picked up her coffee. He considered if a cab was worth it and she wondered why she'd decided coffee was a good idea this late. He looked at his watch and she glanced at the TV clock. 11:11. 11:11 11/11/11.

Twenty minutes later, he walked through the door. She was waiting.

"Did you make a wish?"

He nodded.

"Do I get to know what it is?"

He watched her a quiet moment, turned and walked toward his room, taking off his jacket as he went. She followed. "Wishes don't come true if you tell them, right?"

"I don't know."

He hung up his jacket before turning to tease. "You don't know? But you're my wish expert."

"If I say you're right you won't tell me and I really want to know," she explained with twinkling eyes.

"Maybe I don't want the wish to come true."

She flashed her crooked smile in confusion. "Why would you make it if you didn't want it to come true? Today of all days!"

He took a breath before answering. "I'm conflicted. Today of all days."

Silence grew as the moment lingered. Someone in a movie once said life is made up of moments. But it's not true. Movies are made up of moments but life is made up of choices. The moment could linger forever, for months, for years, all the way until it was 11:11 11/11/11 again. It had been months of moments and no choices, except the one to ignore all the moments, ignore them and celebrate them at the same time. The moments and the feelings and the truths about it all.

"It will only be today for another three minutes."

He nodded as if this was important, as if it meant something. "How do you wish to spend them?"

The answer was clear in her eyes, in the step she took toward him as if she didn't know how not to. It was clear in his arrival and in her vigil and in the big empty house conspiring. The answer and the choice was clear and in the moment the choice was all that mattered. And choice made, the moment was all that mattered.


End file.
